3 Signs That You're *Fine* But About To Crash Out

You're always there for others, but have nothing left over for yourself.  You make sure everyone else's needs are met, but find it hard or impossible to speak up or stand for what matters to you.  You're nice, polite, and kind, and that means everything to you. You make people feel safe, loved, and cared about.  

You're doing all the things: showing up, making plans, keeping appointments, and checking in.  You're smiling, checking boxes, and following through.  

And you're exhausted, in a way that sleep doesn't seem to touch.  The responsibilities are relentless, and you're losing the thread.  

When your attention is pulled in a million directions at once, it's easy to get overwhelmed and lose focus.  When it feels like there's not enough time to really connect with another human being, or take a deep breath,  it makes sense that you'd feel shut down, withdrawn, or disconnected.  

When you are anxious about getting it right, but you don't get to rest, ask for help, or fall apart, you may find yourself resenting the people who benefit from your care. 

Here's the good news: when you recognize that you're exhausted, drained, or have lost your spark, you can start to make changes that help you reclaim your joy.

Signs that you're on the edge:

• You're resentful of others, especially those you're "helping." When you notice that it's hard to celebrate someone else's win, or that all your energy is focused on making sure others are thriving, you may be over-functioning,  rather than attending to your own growth. 

• You obsess about something you said or did, and whether it was wrong, hurtful, or offensive.  We all make mistakes in communication, or say things we regret.  But if you can't let go of fear that you've irreparably damaged a relationship, it may be a sign that you don't trust yourself, or rely on others to provide validation and worth.  

• You are spending more time thinking about how someone else needs to change, than attending to your part.  Blaming others distracts us from what we can control–our own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.  

You’re not doing it wrong or failing, and you're not broken.  It makes sense to be tired when you're carrying a heavy load without a break. We may be supermoms, girl bosses, and Goddesses–and we are also humans, who need and deserve rest, space, and support.  

Here are a few self-care practices that can help reconnect you to your Self:

• Write one real line about the way you are feeling, and approve of the emotion. "I feel exhausted/ embarrassed/ lonely, and that is an okay way to feel."  

• Unfollow someone who drains you online, or deactivate/ delete/ set a time limit on social media. 

• Use phrases like I'll get back to you, I need to check my calendar, and I'll think about it before responding to requests or invitations. Give yourself time to feel what is true for you. 

• Step outside for a few deep breaths, or even better, take a walk.  Fresh air and movement are refreshing and energizing.

• Allow yourself to do nothing, lie down, or take a nap.  

• Listen to a favorite song. Sing or dance along.

• Eat something that is truly delicious, and savor the pleasure you experience without judgement.  

You don't have to wait until things are falling apart before reaching out for support.  You may want to speak with your doctor, a trusted friend, a support group, or a counselor.  You are allowed–and perhaps even required–to ensure your own well-being, if you want to continue to show up for family, friends, work, and your community.

You don't have to face life's challenges on your own, or to have all the answers.  It's okay to not be okay.  

I'd love to hear from you, if you'd like to talk.  

Feel free to get in touch here: molly@mollyguidette.com

Or here: (541) 246-7150

Being depleted can make life seem like an endless series of tasks and to-do lists, and sap you of the energy, creativity, and vitality that makes it all worthwhile.  

It is possible to look as though you're "fine," while inside, you're reaching a breaking point.  

Feeling this way is human, normal and real, and not a sign that you're broken.  Prioritizing your well-being is critical to your purpose here.  Having support is key.  

If you recognize yourself in these words, you are not alone.  When you are ready, support is here for you.